Now remember, little gangstas, stay on the bus unless chaperoned- the NL East is not the kind of neighborhood you go wandering around in alone! Have fun, play nice with the minor leaguers and don't short-sheet the coaches again! Oh, and if someone named Bora$ comes around, offering you candy, don't take it! He's a bully, that Scotty...
Here is your packing list. Don't forget anything!
Spring/summer cell phone containing those special phone #'s
Palmer's Cocoa Butter
Nutty Buddies - They're in Ollie's new contract
Phone # for local PSL tattoo artist (for John Maine)
Book of crossword puzzles (John Maine)
New Metallica CD ( again, John Maine - he's higher maintenence than you think)
David Wright wax figure from Madame Tussaud's - for making statements to the press - they'll never know the difference
Switchblade for Jerry Manuel (for threatening the gangstas when they get out of line)
Smelling salts for helping players recover from concussions - just in case
Santa Suit for Big Pelf - he refuses to go without it
Dan Warthen's glasses - he's gonna need them
Oh, and don't forget your equipment!
