Ten Reasons Why The Phillies Won't Repeat This Year

While the Ladies work on our anger over David Wright's snub of fans and females (not to mention that he personally called Gary Sheffield to convince him to come to the Mets - THANKS A LOT, DAVID) we thought we'd aim some of this righteous bitterness towards the philthies, now that the WBC is over and it is safe to hate them again. Following are ten reasons why they will come in a distant second this year - if they can get past the Braves, that is:

10. The wrong Manuel won last year, karma dictates that this will be corrected and balance once again restored to the universe.

9. Three words: Chan Ho Park.

8. Jaime Moyer is old. Really old. We can fully expect his arm to be ripped off by the wind during his first start at Citifield this year.

7. J.C. Romero. Out for the first 50 games. "No, I didn't take that stuff! OK, maybe I did, but I didn't know it was aganist that rules! OK, maybe I knew, but the union told me it was OK! Well, maybe they didn't..."

6. Brad Lidge? LadyMet's hubby has him on his fantasy team, therefore he will suck. She is trying to encourage hubby not to trade him for this very reason.

5. Chase Utley has a surgically repaired hip. Now, we are not ones to wish ill health on anyone, but...it's Chase Utley, for chrissakes.

4. The Flyin' Hawaiian? Gimme a break. You can't come up with a better nickname than that? What are you, 9 years old?

3. Payback for the WBC dogpile where Rollins and Victorino got their shots in to David Wright.

2. Not all rednecks are wife-beating, intolerant, filthy-mouthed knuckle-draggers -see Putz, J.J. Some are - see Myers, Brett. The Ladies predict that all this hatred and self-righteous indignation will explode out of Myers' philthy head this year, causing him to finally go postal and landing him in prison, where he can watch his team complete their second place finish on TV, provided he exhibits good behavior.

1. Arrogance, thy names are Hamels and Rollins
Self-esteem is important for optimal functioning in life, right? Too much is called hubris. And hubris leads to carelessness and laziness. Hence, while Hamels is busy shooting SI covers while his reality-starlet wife soaks in the reflected glory (I guess one season of Survivor only gets you so far, huh?) and Rollins is busy planning his Playboy shoot with girlfriend, the Mets will be leaving them in the dust.

Please keep in mind that if none of this comes to fruition, The Ladies will delete this post and pretend it never existed.

Kisses, Gangstas! Safe trip to Cincy! Say hello to Metsgrrl while you're there!

Dreamin'...

Picture this: LadyMet and hubby are settled in for a good night's sleep. As the snoring commences, both begin to experience the same dream...

A nailbiter of a game...David Wright slides headfirst into home on a sac fly, tying the game in the second at one apiece. Carlos Delgado hits a monster shot that adds two runs to the board in the sixth. Carlos Beltran saves a run with an incredible catch in center field. Then in the bottom of the ninth, with the bases loaded, one out, down by a run, our boy wonder gets up. He watches a couple of pitches, then it happens...he smacks a single to right field! Two runs score! We win the game!! Jubilant, he jumps and raises his fists...yeah!! He is tackled by his teammates in celebration! Jeter and Victorino are the first to reach him. He is tackled by the rest, and ends up on the ground, face first, as the pile celebrates.

Wait, WHAT??? Who tackles him? Why are Carlos y Carlos leaving the field with tears in their eyes? We won!
What the FUCK!!! Startled, LadyMet and hubby awake suddenly, sweating.

LadyMet's hubby voices her own thought..."We gotta stop eating Ben & Jerry's before bed..."