Facilitator: Hello, everyone. Welcome to this week's Mets Anonymous support group. Our purpose here is to break the unhealthy, pathological addiction some baseball fans have to the perpetually injured, underachieving NY Mets. For a peek into my own struggle with this addiction, please see here.
I see we have some new members this week, so I'll ask everyone to introduce themselves. Please keep in mind all discussions held here are confidential.
"Hi, I'm Joe, and I'm a...(chokes a little) Mets fan".
Group: Hi Joe!
"Hello, I'm Amy, Joe's wife. I'm also a Mets fan. Joe dragged me into this horrible life, and now I'm lost. My family, Yankee fans all (group boos) won't talk to me anymore, and someone spray painted "loser" across our front door. I can't take much more of this"! (she sobs)
Facilitator: Let's show our support for Joe and Amy, shall we?
Group:(murmurs) We know how you feel...poor dear...burn your jerseys, Joe!
Facilitator: Ok, next? How about you, with the obviously fake moustache?
"Hello, my name is, uh, William, and I was a Mets fan, until a...change in my employment. I am here to tell you, the only way to rid yourself of this insidious addiction is to embrace the Yankee way! (group gasps in horror).
Facilitator: Um..may I remind everyone here that changing your team allegiance does not necessarily work for everyone, and that we support your freedom to choose...excuse me, Joe? One of our rules is that there are no PDAs allowed during group time...
Joe: Well, yeah but...the Mets won! They beat the Padres! Johan pitched brilliantly! C'mon, lets all go to Foley's and catch the post-game!
(chairs are knocked over in the stampede towards the door)
William: Um, guys? Where you going?
P.S. We would like to welcome another member to our blogosphere-of-Mets pain - meet MetsBAllers!
Kisses!
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