How Many Licks Does It Take?

Sometimes a situation arises that practically begs for a blog post. Such is this:



Oh dear, David. Now look what you've made us do -

Possible captions for this picture:

"David Wright, making like Keith Hernandez without the Tootsie pop"

"If I lick it, will it hit better?"

"The secret to avoiding the swine flu: Make yourself sick on bat germs first"

"David Wright attempts to join the rest of his team on the DL by giving himself tongue splinters"

and the one you've been waiting for:

"David Wright, practicing for his date later tonight"

Got any others? Feel free to share.

Kisses!

The Ladies They Are A Changin'

As noted in my previous post, there will be some changes going on around here. I have been feeling singularly uninspired Mets-wise lately while my attention is elsewhere, and felt a shake-up was in order. Perhaps something to add grit and edge to our little corner of the blogosphere. Cause we all know how important that is.

This blog will be lucky enough to have at least two new contributors, that you all already know and love. Identities will be kept secret for now, I will let them reveal themselves when the time comes. Kind of like accurate injury reports, it is not prudent to release information before the time is right.

While we are in the process of re-inventing ourselves, we ask you: Is there any Mets topic you'd like to see addressed? Any ideas for new perspectives? Perhaps a player you'd like to see more of? Let us know.

Kisses!

Calling All Bloggers!

Hello Ladies...

Forgive me for the unusual post and the break from all things Mets, but I have some business to take up with all of this blog's friends. Two main points here:

1. LadyMet will now be known as "I". I have found that referring to myself in the third person has become intolerably annoying (I have no idea how you all feel about it but I'm sick of it) and therefore I am dropping it. Earth-shattering news, here, and I know the adjustment may be tough. You'll manage, you're a hardy bunch. After all, you're Mets fans! You can tolerate anything.

2. I am looking for contributors. Due to life changes, I am no longer able to post as much as I would like, and would hate for this forum to die a slow, lingering death. I know that this blog is enjoyed for its offbeat take on the Mets (yes, gossip items included) as we show our love for our guys not just for their baseball ability, but as a fascinating, disparate group of people who have lives just like the rest of us (well, maybe not just like us but you get my drift).
So, if you are interested, please shoot me an e-mail (address on the right). I would love to hear from fellow bloggers (you all know who you are - a talented, interesting bunch of women!) but I will consider a newbie if you are willing to send me a sample post.

So, if you think that you can do sarcasm mixed with love and a little (just a little!) salacious gossip, drop me a line.

Kisses!

Gangsta Pictures

Ladies, you may remember a post from a while back we did featuring pictures taken during spring training, which were just lovely. The commercial website from Michael and Jane Shauck is now up. Hold onto your panties, Ladies, and take a look.

Kisses! (she says while fanning herself)

A Note About Gossip

Hi Ladies!

Those of you who follow this blog regularly (yes, there are a few!) already know what we're about, so forgive me if I provide a review of our existence for those who come here solely for the David Wright gossip.

We are, first and foremost, a Mets fan site. We cry when they are losing, we love them when they are winning. In between, we poke fun at the images created by the HUGE NY sports media machine. We are snarky, sarcastic and occasionally rude. Generally speaking, this can also be said for the hundreds (thousands?) of other Mets blogs out there. The difference is our tendency towards gossip. Gossip is a part of living in the biggest media center in the world, and if you are a public figure here, you are fair game. Whether a politician, television star or sports figure, you cannot escape it. Most of these figures know enough to take the gossip with a grain of salt, and as an unfortunate side-effect of working on the "big stage". They are smart enough to know that the benefits of being a star in New York far outweigh the annoyances. It can also be said that gossip serves these stars as a form of free publicity. Show me a publicist who has not planted a gossip item in Page Six in order to generate talk about his client, and I will tell you he is not earning his paycheck. The gossip world works both ways, folks. Marketing 101. Yes, even for sports stars.

To be specific about our gossip items, I will tell those who think I am being "mean" to DWright and his girlfriend(s) to please grow up. Our items are nothing compared to what else is out there. Ever seen The Dirty? I have withheld much of what I have learned, I am not about to "out" someone publicly without her direct request. This last item could have been much worse, trust me. I don't ask that people believe what I say, you are free to disagree (that's what comment sections are for) or you are free to simply ignore the whole thing (that's why there is a warning in the heading, duh!) But to take me to task for being mean is just you being naive (see previous paragraph) Perhaps you should contact The Big Lead also, and scold them for breaking the Molly b-day pictures. Or perhaps not, as that story was planted by someone close to DWright and Molly. An example of the star's camp using the gossip machine to their own advantage. And who's to say that this item wasn't planted also? Perhaps someone wants to make her relationship known, to end the Molly talk. And as for DWright being disingenuous about his public declarations of being single, it is what it is. I seriously doubt he cares if we feel this way, he is more concerned about criticism of his play on the field, of which there has been tons, some of it quite vicious. And honestly, for me, this is all pure entertainment, nothing more. After all, isn't that what sports and gossip is?

Which brings me to my last point (I know, finally!) To one of the commenters: Please don't presume to think you know the state of my ego. Attempts at internet psychoanalysis are always a bad idea. So is sanctimonous bullshit, and condescending "advice" on my writing career. In my "real" life, I write about real issues, the kind of which I can only hope you never have to face in your life. This blog is entertainment; a hobby, if you will. So keep your sunshine-and-puppies advice for your local junior high journalism class, m'kay?

Kisses, Ladies!

Warning: This Is A David Wright Girlfriend Post

...so if you're gossip-adversive, please move along.

The Ladies, being the concerned, motherly types we are, would like to take David to task for not taking our advice. You may remember, back in April, when we advised David to finally come clean about his relationship status, as sources are increasingly talking about the non-Molly, long-time GF. We advised him that he was coming off as disingenious in his denials of being in a long-term, committed relationship, when the talk is that he is. We are now advised that said GF (we shall call her S) is living with him (in sin, if you are old-fashioned) and they are indeed planning marriage and children in the future (at least that's her view). We assume S has forgiven him for the Molly portion of his life.

Now LadyMet would not be writing about this is she weren't absolutely sure of her sources, and if they have not been independently verified to her standards and if she had not seen convincing evidence with her very own eyes. So choose to believe or not, your choice. We bring this up because we feel that David and his PR machine have milked the "single, attractive, perfect sports star" persona to its limits. Enough money has been made here, with the Mrs Wright t-shirts, etc. So time to come clean, as living with a woman makes you NOT single.

BTW - the pic of David and three others getting into an Audi after a game that's been floating around- yeah, that's S. She is at nearly every game, and travels on every road trip. Isn't young love wonderful?

OK, gossip segment is finished.

The Johan Conspiracy

It is the year 2009, in an alternate universe. Not much is different from our own world, except for the overt presence of magic. Wizards are real and practice their craft openly. Witches charge thousands of dollars for a properly-drawn spell, enabling the buyer to win the love of their life, get a better job, live longer.

In this world, baseball is also affected by magic. The big market teams bid for the services of the most skilled magic practitioners, much like they do for an effective pitcher on the free-agent market (except the pitchers are harder to find). A good wizard or witch can increase the teams' win percentage by 20%. Nothing to sneeze at when you are in a dog fight for your division.

The New York Mets, in 2008, using the considerable financial resources of the Wilpons, signed star pitcher Johan Santana. They also signed a wizard named Simon Green, whose sole job was to weave his spells around Johan, enabling him to pitch like no one had ever pitched before. Green's spell took some time to take effect, coming to full power in the latter half of the 2008 season. Green took some flack for the lag time, and the NY media spent the spring of that year calling for his head. The spell kicked in around July, and Johan went on to pitch like a superstar. Problem was, the rest of the team could not seem to score enough runs to enable Johan to get the wins he so richly deserved.

Spring, 2009. Johan continues to pitch like Tom Seaver/Doc Gooden/Sandy Kolfax in their primes. His ERA was minuscule, below 1. Same issue with the team, however. They could not score any runs, they dropped balls like they were the Marlins. Post game interviews revealed befuddled players who had no explanation for their lack of support for their most esteemed teammate.

Then, a bombshell hit. An investigation by an intrepid blogger revealed that wizard Green had been receiving bribes from Yankees' GM Brian Cashman in order to bespell the Mets when Johan pitches. Cashman was consumed with jealousy that Johan ended up with the Mets instead of the Yankees (Cashman's decision to pass on Johan drove him crazy) and paid the traitor wizard to bespell the rest of the team to play like Little Leaguers while Johan pitched.

The subterfuge exposed; the offending wizard was run out of town and stripped of his license. His parting shot at the team which paid his salary? "I never bespelled Johan! All that greatness came from him alone, he doesn't need magic!"

With the spells lifted by a new, honest wizard (Jim Butcher), the team went on to win the division behind their ace.

Seriously, think this is crazy? Got any other explanations?

The All-Time Mets Hottie Team (well, since 1986, anyway)

Why 1986? C'mon, that's an easy one. Aside from the fact that our last World Series championship came that year, it was also the Year of the Hotties. LadyMet has fond memories of watching the boys brawl and beat baseball into submission that year, while simultaneously admiring Keith's mustache and Ronnie's eyes. It was the year LadyMet became engaged to the love of her life (yes, she was a child bride) after he realized he could take her to a Met game and not have to explain the infield fly rule.

As LadyMet realizes that many of the readers here are younger than she (judging from the amounts of hits we get from college campuses) we are here to introduce you to some hotties from the past, as well as to celebrate those we are lucky to have now. Feel free to curse LadyMet for omitting your favorites in the comments section.

So, we proudly present to you, the All-Time (since '86) Mets Hottie List:



First Base: Dave Magadan
On the bench: Keith Hernandez



Second Base: Gregg Jefferies
On the Bench: Joe McEwing



Third Base: David Wright
On the Bench: Robin Ventura



Shortstop: Kevin Elster
On the Bench: Todd Zeile



Right Field: Ryan Church
On the Bench: Lee Mazzilli



Center Field: Carlos Beltran
On the Bench: Endy Chavez



Left Field: Angel Pagan
On the Bench: Benny Agbyani



Catcher: Mike Piazza
On the Bench: Paul LoDuca



Pitcher: Ron Darling
On the Bench: John Maine


Bullpen: Roger McDowell
On the Bench: Brian Stokes

Keep in mind this list in no way, shape or form has anything to do with playing ability, personality or stats. It is simply an assessment of hunky athletic looks. So enjoy!

Kisses!

The "I Have Other Things To Do Today" Post

Since LadyMet is busy lately trying to jump-start a new career while simultaneously trying to keep up with the old one, she will give you a couple of quickie hits and a promise that the anxiously-awaited All-Time Mets Hottie team will be forthcoming soon:

Laugh your ass off here.

Loving that DWright got pissed at Omar for his comments. Seems he's hitting better since then. Coincidence?

Relatedly, love Mets Geekette's post on anger in the clubhouse.

Finally managed to steal Faith, Fear in Flushing book from Mr. LadyMet. Don't ask what the tradeoff was. Speaking of the Mr., he spent the weekend managing a bunch of talented (we mean talented - these guys are minor-league baseball material) but immature softball players who also happened to be Phillies fans. See LadyMet's Twitter to find out what his revenge was.

And speaking of softball (see how all things come full circle?) watch DWright dis the sport, and admit to being a media-savvy genius:

A Little Love For Fernando

There hasn't been much in the way of happy Mets stuff lately (just ask Ollie) so the Ladies thought we'd give Fernando Tatis some overdue love, as he has been most excellent in the few at-bats he has had this year (not to mention his stellar play last year, when we needed a stand-up guy)

So here's to you, Fernando (The Stars Were Bright) Tatis!


Is the only major league player to hit two grand slams, in the same inning, off the same pitcher! BTW, the pitcher was none other than Chan Ho Park, whom the Mets faced Friday nite in Philly, and rocked)

After two years out of baseball, he returned to the game primarily to make enough money to build a church in his hometown in the Dominican Republic. He messed around in the minors before signing on with the Mets in spring training 2008.

He replaced Alex Rodriguez on the WBC Dominican team this past March.

Has five children. Busy guy.

Was one of the best hitters for the Mets last year. Nice for a guy that hadn't seen major league action for two years.

Is respectful of the game, and wants to be a good teammate.


With that in mind, we ask you. When Fernando was awarded his MLBPA Comeback Player of the Year award last week, on the field, why were the rest of his teammates not standing and applauding? As they do when DWright and Beltran get their Gold Gloves???

from Joel Sherman, NY Post:

This is a little thing that might just matter to me, but I really do think it reflects poorly on the Mets. Fernando Tatis received his Comeback Player of the Year award on the field just before Sunday's game. Usually when a player receives such an award on the field, you will see his teammates stand on the top step of the dugout and applaud the player. But not a single Met came to the top step and it was just before game time and the dugout was filled. A few Mets, standing near the bench, did begin to clap when Tatis' name was actually said, but that was the entire show of support. This, to me, is a poor job by Jerry Manuel and/or the veteran leadership of the team not to understand what gestures mean in forming more positive energy around the team.


So, from the Ladies:

*APPLAUSE*

and our thanks, for being such an all-around good guy.

Kisses!