A January Conversation Between Gary, Keith and Ron

The phone rings, Keith picks it up...

Keith: What??
Gary: Hey Keith, it's me and Ronnie. Just wanted to check in with you, it's been a long off-season.
Keith: Ok, so...what? Let's make it quick, I was napping.
Ronnie: What do you think of the team for this year?
Keith: I don't know, they need another bat. Wish I were still playing.
Gary: You think they'll finally win the division this year?
Keith: No. They need someone like me in the batting order (licks his Tootsie pop)
Gary: But Keith, they scored as many runs as the Phillies last year, and the same line-up is coming back. Don't you think it was the bullpen that blew the season? That's been fixed.
Keith: Yeah, whatever. Hey, I had the greatest steak last night.
Ronnie: Keith, stay with us here. What do you think about the rotation? I have concerns.
Keith: About what? They just need someone up there to throw the ball, we all know it's offense that wins games. Like when I was playing...
Ronnie: cuts him off.. Yeah, thanks Keith, whatever. Well, Omar actually asked me if I could still pitch. Apparently they can't find a #4 starter. Not a good sign, right, Gary?
Gary: moans in despair... He asked YOU?? You retired years ago! This is not good, he must not have any confidence in what they've got. Oh man, I gotta tell Howie, we're doomed...
Keith: Don't jump off the bridge yet, Gar. Season hasn't started yet, there's still time. Hey, you think Shea's chef Theresa is coming over to Citifield? She always makes me the greatest ribs.
Gary: crying... I want to win a division! Why can't we just win? I'm tired of announcing collapses!
Ronnie: It's OK, Gary. Hey, when all else fails, we still have each other, right?
Gary: What do you mean? You worked the post-season for FOX last year!!! Traitor!!!!
Keith: You worked for FOX, Ronnie? I didn't know that...Hey, I'm only doing 80 games this year! Awesome! Lots of time off to nap...
Ronnie: sighs...Jeez...it's gonna be a long season.


Just kidding, guys, you know we love you...

26 days till pitchers and catchers...